Lowcarbezine! 8 January 2003

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Hey, Gang -

Happy New Year! I know I have a whole battalion of new subscribers. Hi, there! Welcome to the World Of Low Carb! We have more fun here than you might suspect.

Many of the rest of you are recommitting to this way of eating after, er, a few too many Indulgences over the holidays. Welcome back! Let's be healthy this year, shall we?

By the way, the length of this issue (approximately sixty-zillion words...) should tip you off: We're back to biweekly publishing. I have books to write!

Read on!


All contents © Copyright 2002 Hold the Toast Press. All commercial reproduction is expressly prohibited. If you think your friends will enjoy Lowcarbezine!, please forward them the WHOLE ISSUE. Please, do not post articles or recipes elsewhere on the internet without permission. My attorney tells me that I'll have to come scold you and tell you to cut it out if you do.

A lot of people have inquired about advertising. Advertising inquiries may be directed to advertising@holdthetoast.com

New Years Resolutions Review

Last year at this time I wrote about New Years Resolutions http://www.holdthetoast.com/archive/020103.html. Specifically, I said that I don't think they're a waste of time and thought, even if you fail to keep them. I feel that periodically giving some thought to what we'd like to change in our lives has a salutary effect, even if we fall short of our mark.

And, of course, sometimes the resolutions stick! I'd be willing to bet that there is more than one person reading this newsletter right now who started a low carb diet because of a New Years Resolution a few years ago, and has stuck with it, and changed their whole life for the better. I hope that the same turns out to be true for all you new readers who have just made the resolution to go low carb, and subscribed to this ezine as a result - that you'll discover what so many of us have discovered: tremendous health and energy, a breaking of the physical and emotional addiction to food, and of course weight loss without hunger. You've embarked on a great adventure!

In last year's New Years Resolution issue, I publicly made four resolutions - and I actually kept three of them, so that's not too bad an average. My four resolutions were:

1) To go back to doing The Firm, the aerobics with weights videos that are so effective, and get back into some kind of serious shape;

2) To unsubscribe from my newsgroups - a major time-eater - until I had mailed the manuscript for 500 Low-Carb Recipes

2) Once I was done writing 500 Low-Carb Recipes, to cut way back on carbs and knock off some of the weight I'd gained cooking low carb treats every day; and

3) To actually use a Daytimer to plan my day, keep records, make to-do lists, etc, etc, etc.

I didn't use the Daytimer. Well, I did for a few weeks. This stuff just doesn't come naturally to me, and anyway, since I'm at home 90% of the time, having to keep track of a little book to jot things in seemed like a real pain. This year I've gotten a good sized "Month at a Glance" calendar, with plenty of room to write stuff in, that I can hang on the wall where I can see it, instead of hunting through the detritus on my desk or in my purse every time I want to schedule something. We'll see if this is any more effective, but I wouldn't hold your breath. I'm pathologically disorganized.

I did unsubscribe from my newsgroups, and given that I have to turn in two more manuscripts by April 1st, I may do it again! I did, indeed, mail my manuscript right on time.

I didn't actually go back to doing The Firm. Or rather, I did, but within a week my bad leg was singing Glory Hallelujah (I hurt my leg in a car wreck in 2000, which is why I was out of shape to begin with.) Instead I turned to Heavyhands, which, like The Firm, incorporates hand weights with aerobics, but puts less stress on the lower body. This was very successful for me, and by the end of the summer I was walking for about 45 minutes at a shot, with 6 pounds in either hand, doing vigorous bicep, tricep, deltoid, chest, and shoulder work in rhythm with my walking. As a result, I'm starting to edge back into some of my size 12s. More importantly, my pulse dropped dramatically, my energy level increased, and my wind improved tremendously - I can once again dance without getting out of breath, and thank God for it! I really hated not being able to dance.

Speaking of dancing, since the weather has turned nasty I've been doing Zumba (http://www.zumba.com) - an aerobic workout based on Latin dance - I merengue, salsa, cumbia, and calypso-raga around my living room. To turn it into a Heavyhands workout, I've worked my way up to wearing 3 pounds of weight on my wrists while doing my Zumba - wrist weights are easier than hand weights when dancing - and I'm just starting to try 1 pound ankle weights. My New Years Exercise Resolution for 2003 is to learn the Advanced Zumba workout (which is quite advanced, indeed - if I ever get this thing down, I'll be ready to be a professional dancer, - it should be fun trying!), and to try The Firm again, and see if - after this past year of intensive chiropractic treatment - my leg can handle it now. The Firm really is the best home exercise program I know. ( http://www.firmbelievers.com , but you can find The Firm set of three tapes and a step-up box - "The Fanny Lifter" - at Target or Wal-Mart.)

I did, indeed, do a major carb cutback after writing the cookbook. I know that some of you are thinking, "Why did she need to cut back on carbs after writing a low carb cookbook?" The answer is that I was cooking - and tasting! - 4 or 5 new things a day, for over four months, and many of them had anywhere from a few grams to 10 or 15 grams per serving. That adds up! (So don't cook 5 different things out of 500 Low-Carb Recipes in one day, unless you're having company to help you eat them, you hear?) But a few weeks of axing the treats and the "extras", and sticking to meat, vegetables, and a few nuts and seeds set me on the right track again. There may be a few of you who need to do this in the wake of the holidays - if so, get with it! I'll write about short term "get back on track" programs in the near future.

So there you are - four resolutions, three successes!

How'd you do with your resolutions this past year? I'd like to know! If you made a health and fitness resolution for 2002 that you kept, write and tell us about it! I'll publish the most inspiring, interesting, or even humorous stories. Send 'em to dana@holdthetoast.com

I would also love to hear about how you successfully started exercising after years of slug-dom, or about what exercise program works for you. Again, I'll publish the best stuff!

Happy, healthy New Year!

Reader Review of 500 Low-Carb Recipes

This book is excellent. All the recipes I have tried work, taste great and are easy to fix. This was

important to me since working full time plus, I have limited time to cook. She offers suggestions on substitutions for ingredients in some cases if you cannot get a particular ingredient where you live. I would recommend this book to anyone.

Maryanne Peaslee from Eugene, OR

Thanks, Maryanne!!

Check out this and other reviews of 500 Low Carb Recipes at Amazon.com or Amazon Canada.

Lowcarbezine Classics

Since we've gotten a lot of new subscribers recently, I thought I'd start rerunning some of the early articles from Lowcarbezine, answering some of the basic, most frequently asked questions about low carbohydrate dieting. Hope you new low carbers find them helpful! The following article first appeared in Lowcarbezine! December 8, 1999.

How long will it take me to lose X pounds?

How should I know?

No, really. I'm not trying to be snide. I'm just pointing out that there are over 6 billion different bodies in the world today, and every single one is different. Furthermore, there are various approaches to low carb or carb controlled dieting -- Basic Low Carb diets, like Atkins and Protein Power, hybrid diets like The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet, diets that give you a bit more carbs, but restrict you to low impact carbs, like SugarBusters and my Careful Carb Diet, diets that are both carb-controlled and low calorie, like The Zone, paleodiets like Neanderthin. Different diets work differently, and will cause weight loss at different rates.

Not only that, the same diet will cause weight loss at different rates in different people -- I know people who have dropped 10 pounds in the first week on a Basic Low Carb Diet, and I know people who can't seem to lose at all no matter what they do. I've talked to folks who've lost 150 pounds on The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet, while I plateaued almost immediately on it. I know a fellow who just loves the Zone, and is back at his high school weight, with no hunger at all, while many seriously obese people I know found the Zone an agony of hunger.

I know people who do best if they eat less than 10 grams of carb a day, and get lots of fat, and I know people who do better if they eat a little less fat and a little more protein. I know people who started losing when they carefully added 25-30 g a day of carb back to their diet, but stop losing if they add much more. I also know people who have lost a pound a day while eating 100 grams of carb a day, so long as they were low impact carbs.

I know people for whom it seems to make a difference where their protein is coming from -- for instance, there are people who will break a plateau if they drop dairy. Yet there are people like me who have eaten dairy all along and done just fine -- but then again, I gain if I eat peanuts with any regularity, while a whole lot of low carbers can eat peanuts just fine.

That's why I give so many options in How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet and Lost Forty Pounds - because bodies are different, and different things work for different people. My best advice to you is to pick a program, try it for 3-4 weeks solid, and see how you're doing. If you feel great, and are losing weight, stick with it! If you think you could feel better -- for instance, I have now communicated with two people who became very forgetful on a Basic Low Carb Diet, whereas many of us feel that the Basic Low Carb Diet improved our mental clarity -- try a different approach. And certainly if you're not losing weight, try a different approach! "Tweaking" your diet is a very important process, to find the Way of Eating that is right for you.

The bottom line is this: If you are carbohydrate intolerant, then you'll need to restrict your carbs forever. Yes, you'll be able to have an occasional splurge, but you're never going to be able to have a donut at break time and fries and a shake with lunch every day and keep the weight off, much less stay energetic and healthy. Remember - it's not where you are, but which direction you're headed which matters. So long as you're headed in the right direction, don't sweat it.

People ask me a lot, "How long did it take you to lose your weight?" My experience is just that -- my experience, and Your Milage May Vary, but here it is:

I started low carbing the day after Labor Day, 1995. The first ten pounds came off in the first 2 weeks. The second ten took about a month. Then I went on The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet, and plateaued quickly, I only lost a few more pounds during the couple of months or so I was on it. I went back to my Basic Low Carb Diet (at first I went back to the Basic Low Carb Diet during the week, and did The Carb Addict's Diet on the weekends; gave it up when the carbs at a Reward Meal made me fall asleep in front of company!) and it took awhile for my body to get back with the program. Finally I started to lose again, and by late March, early April I was down forty pounds.

I then plateaued at forty pounds down for -- three years!! I felt great, I was incredibly healthy, and I was happy that the weight was staying off. I never considered going back to my old Way of Eating. Just last April, I found some new exercises which I'll share in another issue, and I've dropped another ten pounds, about a full size, since. My body continues to improve, but very slowly now. That's okay -- how many people's bodies are improving, even slowly, at the age of 41?

My goal now is to lose another 10 pounds in the next year. Hey, beats gaining ten pounds, doesn't it?

Dana's Note: I did continue to lose weight, slowly, until that !@#$%^& car wreck I mentioned threw me for a loop. I'm now back down to round about where I was before I discovered breathing exercises, and still getting in better shape. Life in the real world - you hit a bump, and you keep on going. By the way, here's a link to the issue with the article on breathing exercises: http://www.holdthetoast.com/archive/010419.html

Fast Food Weight Loss!

Those of you who have been reading this 'zine for a few months will remember my rant about the fast food lawsuits. Imagine my delight when I read this column in the Mobile Register while at my father-in-law's over Thanksgiving! Many thanks to Joel Mowbray for allowing me to reprint his article.

November 26, 2002

Sue McDonalds? I lost 80 lbs with fast food

As we approach the food-filled holidays, it is important to remember that food - fast or otherwise - is not the enemy. If only trial lawyers could figure that out.

Law suits blaming the fast food industry for making fat people, well, fat are becoming so common that CRC Publications just launched the "Obesity Policy Reporter" to keep tabs on the pending litigation. Arguing that the tobacco theory of liability should apply to fast food shops, trial lawyers are attempting to bilk burger joints for billions.

But the finger should not be pointed at the purveyors of greasy goodies; the blame must fall squarely on the shoulders of people bringing the "fat" law suits.

How do I know this? Because I used to be fat. Really fat. I binged on fast food and junk food, and just about anything I could get my hands on.

Finally, I decided, "The fat stops here." So, I binged on fast food. I'll explain.

About two years ago, a suit salesman told me that I needed a size 50 jacket.

I protested--mightily. But I was wrong, and worse, he was right. When the tailor was marking the suit for alterations, I told him to cut it tight--because I was going to start losing weight the next day. The 50-ish immigrant from North Africa could sense my dogged determination. He looked at me with sympathetic eyes, and in a thick accent chortled, "Yeah, right."

Much to the tailor's surprise, and most everyone else's, I started losing weight. Having ballooned on the high-carb, low-fat diet, a different strategy was necessary. he high-protein Atkins diet intrigued me, but the cost of constantly preparing chicken and steak seemed prohibitive.

Frankly, as a struggling entrepreneur at the time, anything pricier than a 20-cent ackage of ramen noodles would have put a crimp in my wallet. What to do? With o time to prepare a home-cooked meal and no money to buy a decent one, fast food became my diet's savior. Without the drive-thru lane, my Atkins diet would not have happened, and I'd probably still be wearing a size 50 jacket.

One of my two daily meals consisted of several double cheeseburgers, minus the buns of course. Because I was too timid (and proud) to order burgers without the buns, I had to manually separate the beef from the bun. Oh, what a sight it was. But after shedding 80 pounds in five months, oh what a sight I was.

The point of my plight is not that everyone should indulge in fast food. But much-maligned fast food, unlike tobacco, can be used to actually benefit people. If it hadn't been for the quick and inexpensive nutrition provided by fast food, weight loss would have eluded me--leaving me at an increased risk for diabetes and heart disease.

But in a society that revels in a cult of victimology, it should not be surprising that trial lawyers are blaming fast food chains for the growing girth of the nation. We have no one to blame but ourselves.

The epidemic of expanding waistlines can by traced directly to the abandonment of personal responsibility. In a world where no one is responsible for his or her actions, why should weight be any different?

Look at how we "diet." We want weight loss in a pill or in pre-packaged foods designed to eliminate sacrifice. Dieting is chic so long as it still includes low-fat cookies and potato chips. No wonder we're an increasingly corpulent country.

I speak from experience that eating low-fat snacks and drinking Diet Coke does little more than soothe the conscience. Our instant gratification society has eschewed the time-honored tradition of hard work yielding tangible results. We still want the bigger, better, faster, more--we just want it without sacrifice.

Even a diet containing daily doses of fast food requires sacrifice, though. I had to avoid whole host of verboten foods, and I had to coax myself into an actual exercise regimen--and it was worth every ounce of effort I expended.

But if I had wasted my energy suing Ronald McDonald and his buddies, I wouldn't have looked within myself to find the guts to lose my gut.

Reprinted by permission from Joel Mowbray, to whom we give our grateful thanks. Here's a link to more of Mr. Mowbray's columns, although, not having read them, we can't tell you whether or not we agree with them! http://www.townhall.com/columnists/joelmowbray/archive.shtml

Here's a link to the issue with my original rant about the fast food lawsuits: http://www.holdthetoast.com/archive/020809.html

Reader Review of How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet and Lost Forty Pounds!

Lori King loves this book!

Wonderful book! Easy read, entertaining, informative, and it works! I have purchased hundreds of

books from Amazon and this is the first book I've reviewed. I really recommend it to those who find that low-fat, high-carb eating is no longer a viable weight loss alternative for them. This is usually everyone about 35 years of age or older, unless they're into heavy body-building. It may also be good for younger adults too. I just know that I got so discouraged that I gave up on diets and exercise. I saw results right away with a low-carb plan that I tailored to my way of life. There is enough flexibility that I feel like I'm in control of the process, which is important for me. The extra energy, health benefits, and regained clarity of mind are the additional benefits that make me want to continue low-carb even if I didn't lose an ounce. I'm also not always hungry anymore. Great job Dana! I'm waiting for your next book, "Low Carb for Life." Please hurry...

Lori King, Amsterdam, NY

Thanks, Lori! I'm afraid that Low Carb For Life has gotten postponed - first for 500 Low Carb Recipes, and now for a second cookbook my publisher wants. I still plan to write it, though!

See this and other reviews of How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet and Lost Forty Pounds at Amazon.com, And in Canada: Amazon.Ca

From Those Wonderful People Who Brought You The Food Pyramid...

I'm pleased to note that for the very first time, the federal government, a true bastion of nutritional cluelessness, has specified an upper limit for sugar consumption.

You see, for years and years and years, the government's official stance was that sugar was just fine in whatever quantities you wanted to eat it - after all, it wasn't fat, and the only problem with it was that it would rot your teeth, right? So their finally deciding that maybe, just maybe unlimited sugar consumption is less than cool is a pretty big step.

So what is the limit? Twenty five percent of calories. That's right. The US Government has decided that you can replace fully one-quarter of the food in your diet with utterly valueless calories without any health problems.

Try replacing 25% of the gas in your car's tank with water, and see how far you get.

Sheesh. Atkins wept.

We Have All Your Favorite Low Carb Specialty Foods - AT A DISCOUNT!

Pure De-Lite Belgian Chocolate Truffles! KETO Sugar Free Biscotti! Atkins Advantage Bars! ProSlim Pasta! Lowcarbolicious Pizza Kits! And MUCH, MUCH MORE!! Everything's at a discount, every day!

Check out our recipes, success stories, articles and interviews! And don't forget to order Dana Carpender's 500 Low-Carb Recipes and How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet and Lost Forty Pounds!

If you're Low Carb and Smart, you'll shop Carb Smart! http://www.webbalah.net/carbsmart.html

Reader Success Stories I Should Have Gotten To Ages Ago

Periodically I put out the call for reader success stories, and boy, oh, boy, do my readers oblige! So much so that I'm backlogged with great reader success stories from as far back as 2001.

Well, I think this New Years Season is a great time for success stories - what better way to encourage all the folks who have newly gone low carb, or are returning to low carb after straying during the holidays? So I'm dusting off those old success stories, and I'm going to start running them.

To start with, here's a great family success story from Melbourne, Australia:

Dear Dana

There are three low carbers in my family, and two more who should be but are resisting - they see it as inconvenient and do not wish to change their habits, (fair enough, they are adults and can do as they please).

1) Rebecca, my younger daughter, 24 yrs old. From birth, Rebecca was very plump and swollen, retaining fluid. I was always concerned, having her tested for kidney problems and diabetes throughout her childhood. From the very beginning, her diet was carefully monitored - no chips, sweets, biscuits etc. but also limiting her meat intake because of fat. To no avail, of course.

In her teen years Rebecca stacked on the weight till she became size 20-22 (Australian). She was concerned because she was always lethargic and every afternoon she had a period of extreme tiredness and was worried about developing type 2 diabetes at an early age. (Type 2 diabetes is rampant in our family.)

Rebecca was having chiropractic treatment for her shoulder when the chiropractor, (Peter), told her about his new computer program which could analyze the body's make up and help tailor-make a diet and she decided to try it, starting last November. At first there was little result and we could not work out what was happening. After a couple of months, she was given a booklet on the ketogenic diet which explained more clearly what she should and should not do. Rebecca started taking a protein powder for breakfast and checking ketones and eating far more protein than she had ever had. She has lost about 19 kilos (40lbs) and has about another 10-15k to go. She is now a size 16 and very shapely and looks terrific. Best of all, she rarely retains fluid in her face and hands and though she still feels tired, she has more energy, so she goes for more walks and can join in more activities. Occasionally she does eat some high carb food (ice cream) but it doesn't seem to stop her losing weight.

2) Myself - Iva. 53 years old. Despite what is considered a very good diet, I have been overweight all my life. In my time I have tried many diets without success. With Weight Watchers I lost 2 stone (28 pounds) over two years, only to put it all back on in a month of severe stress (illness of a child) even though I was eating very little at the time. Six months of low fat dieting made no difference whatsoever to my weight. My mother used to comment that she didn't know how I could be so fat when I ate nothing tasty, no fats, no salt, no sugar, little meat. My son disliked the food so much, he bought me a book called "Cooking With Fats".

A few years ago I was diagnosed with diabetes which I controlled with great difficulty by diet and exercise. Towards the end of last year, my sugar levels were very high (In Australia, normal is between 4-7, my levels were between 11-17), and my hair was falling out. The doctor suggested I should lose weight but I told her that I could not. She said that one does not need to diet, just eat sensibly and the weight will go!!! I laughed. (What a typically skinny-person idea) For once I was taken seriously and she ordered blood tests which discovered that I had a thyroid problem. The doctor suggested that if my thyroid is treated, the diabetes would be easily controlled or disappear. I decided to not take thyroxine but to investigate other therapies first, my reasoning being that had she not tested for another month, I wouldn't have known about the thyroid problem, so one month more without treatment would make very little difference.

On the internet, the Thyroid Association mentioned that if people do not eat sufficient protein, the body is unable to convert T4 (which it manufactures) to T3 which it actually uses. Also I found out that if you have a thyroid problem and do any strenuous exercise you are likely to gain weight.

By this time I was receiving your ezine and had read your book, but still did not feel confident about how to proceed, so I also went to see Peter for direction. He was quite alarmed by my state of health (or ill-health). He explained in detail what I should do, plus gave me numerous supplements. I followed his program to the letter for a few months, but due to financial restraints have had to give up the supplements, except for zinc (of which I had none and which may have been one reason for my constant cravings, as lack of zinc prevents accessing nourishment from food) and drops for my thyroid problem, which I may have to take all my life.

Protein was increased and carbs severely limited. I still miss fruit - I used to eat 6-20 per day, was quite happy to eat nothing else. My diet now is very strict - we are aiming to change my metabolism - so for fruit I am allowed only strawberries, of which I eat a punnet ( lb) per day. I am allowed some cantaloupe, too, but only one slice. As I have trouble limiting myself (I want to eat the whole fruit) its easier not to eat any.

For the first time in my life I am not insatiably hungry. Within five days of starting the program, my hair stopped falling out. My HBA1C (three month blood average diabetes test) showed 6.1, the lowest reading I've had in 25 years. The blood test also showed that my thyroid is working so close to normal levels that the doctor believes no other treatment is necessary. I am feeling the cold, instead of being suffocatingly hot all the time. By 11 pm I need to go to bed - previously my bedtime was 2am, there were some nights I didn't bother to go to bed at all. I have had to cut my fingernails twice - they used to be so brittle I could never have white tips on them. Weight loss is still slow, compared to other people I read about. In seven months I have lost about 13 kilos (28lbs), mostly fat, and have come down from size 24 to 20-22. Unfortunately, there are still 15-20 kilos to go but I seem to have stopped losing. However, when I started my body was 54% fat, now its 48% and Peter says I must get down to at least 35% to be healthy. I feel more energetic so am able to exercise more frequently, either walking if the weather is O.K., or (exercise) bike riding at home.

Yesterday the cleaner at work commented on my appearance and asked if I planned to be sexy in my old age. I didn't bother to say anything, but it does annoy me that people think only thin people are 'sexy' or attractive.

3) Claire, my older daughter, 27 yrs old. Claire had maintained her weight at size 14 from when she was a teenager. Although this is considered a largish/normal size, she was happy with her weight and appearance. At age 16 she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and was on four injections a day. Four years ago, she started to gain weight. When she had gained about 5 kilos (11 pounds) she joined a gym, but the weight went on even faster so the instructor advised her to stop. Claire gained 43 kilos (90 pounds) in all, over a period of 18 months. Despite numerous blood tests, visits to endocrinologists and nutritionists she was unable to get help. Firstly she was told to eat less, then to cut out fats, to exercise more, etc. Then she started using the pump for insulin infusion - most people lose weight on that, but not Claire. Claire became very lethargic, gave up all her interests and was barely able to keep going in her job. In the end, she was told that it was obviously a hormonal problem and that there was no help available. In desperation, but quite unwillingly, she agreed to try lo-carb eating under strict supervision.

Peter was also apprehensive - he had already turned down two type 1 diabetics, but agreed to give it a try because he has known the family for twenty years and was aware of my desperation to see my daughter well. He gave no guarantees and said I might be throwing away a lot of money, but we thought it worth a try. He has put her on many (expensive) supplements and monitors her health weekly.

In six months, Claire has lost about 18 kilos (38 lbs). Her skin has improved markedly. Before starting, she was taking 130 units of insulin per day. On the pump, that went down to 70 and now she takes 35 units per day and hardly ever has a hypoglycemic episode. She has taken up her interests again, is doing gentle exercise and does some sewing and embroidery and is currently drawing up a business plan - if she can get the money together she would like to start her own business. Claire has had the energy to design information packs, write submissions for charity, attend workshops and offer to take a session at a conference. People who did not know her four years ago are commenting on how much her personality is blossoming recently - they had only seen her sitting and almost sleeping through meetings, etc. She is so much better that she has been voted vice-president of the Melbourne Chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. She still does not have the energy of four years ago, but is well on the way. There are still 26 kilos to lose to get back to her normal size, which we expect to happen over the next twelve months. Claire still has cravings for carbs, even when she doesn't eat any, so that makes it more difficult for her to stay focused on proper food. Also, the occasional hypoglycemic attack is treated with chocolate or other sugary food which triggers her cravings as well. However, overall her health has improved and we are very satisfied with the results.

Advantages of eating low-carb:


On the day I started this plan, my friend and her daughter started it also. The daughter did not have any health problems, she just wanted to be slim like her friends. She achieved her goal a month ago and is delighted and happy to maintain low carb for life.

Dana, I would like to thank you for your generosity in giving your time and for the effort in maintaining your ezine. Your comments are like a breath of fresh air and I always look forward to what you have to say. I have referred a number of people to your pages and they enjoy them as much as I do.

Best wishes, Iva.

Wow! Best wishes to you, too, Iva! If you'd like to update this terrific family story, we'd sure love to read it.

Dopey Internet Humor That Just Happens To Fit a Low Carb Theme

My pal Al posted this to a discussion group this weekend, and I just had to share:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. New-born babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. A nation-wide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete with celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers. (Dana's Note: No, no! Those bumperstickers should say, "Hold The Toast"!)

3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

Please send this e-mail on to everyone you know who cares about this crucial issue.

Remember: Think idiotically, act globally!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, it's really silly. But it cracked me up. Hold the Toast!

Cooking Low Carb!

I tried two burger recipes yesterday. One was definitely not ready for prime time, but the other worked out beautifully! Here it is:

Chili Burgers

All the long-simmered flavor of chili in a fast and easy burger!

1 pound ground beef

1 cup canned tomatoes with green chilies

1/2 medium onion, minced fine

2 cloves garlic, crushed

1 tablespoon chili powder

2 tablespoons crushed barbecue flavored pork rinds

1 tablespoon tomato paste

1 tablespoon salt or Vege-Sal

4 ounces cheddar cheese, sliced

Sour cream (optional)

Plunk everything but the cheese and sour cream into a bowl, and using clean hands, smoosh it all together until everything is thoroughly combined. Form this mixture into four patties. I cooked these for 6 minutes on my electric tabletop grill, and that worked out great, but if you'd rather, I see no reason you couldn't cook them in a hot, heavy-bottomed skillet for about 5 minutes per side, or broil them.

Just before the burgers are done, top each a slice of cheddar cheese, and let it melt (with the electric grill, this takes propping the lid slightly open for a minute or so.) Serve with a dollop of sour cream, if you like.

Four servings, each with 6 grams of carbohydrate, with 1 gram of fiber, for a usable carb count of 5 grams. 28 grams of protein. Add one gram of carb and one gram of protein if you use the sour cream.

This would be great with a big, simple green salad with cucumbers, green peppers, a few tomato slices, tossed with ranch dressing.

That's it for this issue! See you next issue!


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