Little Health Problems That Just Don't Plague Me Anymore

Last night I suddenly flashed on the fact that all sorts of minor health-related problems that I took for granted as a kid -- a kid, young enough that I should have been in prime health -- vanished from my life long ago. I can only assume that most, if not all, of these problems were nutritionally based, and their happy disappearance is due to vastly improved nutritional status over the years. It sure ain't due to my getting younger.

Like what? Like canker sores. You know, those nasty sores that happen where the gum meets the lip? Where the mucosa splits open, and it hurts like the very devil, especially if you're stupid enough to eat something salty or acidic? I can't say exactly how often I had canker sores as a kid, but looking back it was at least at a rate of one every few months. I cannot remember the last time I had a canker sore. No kidding. I'm betting it's been more than 25 years, maybe thirty. Glad to be rid of them. They sucked.

Or cracks at the corners of my mouth -- again, a small, painful thing, and unsightly, too. At least canker sores didn't show. Again, I used to have these at least a few times a year as a kid, but can't recall the last time I had one.

Dandruff. I can remember as a kid of, oh, probably ten or so (gross-out alert) bending my head forward over my mom's hand-mirror and rubbing my scalp, to see how much dandruff flaked off. There was quite a bit. Not infrequently I resorted to Head-and-Shoulders. You'd think my scalp would be dryer, and therefore flakier, now that I'm middle-aged, but my only problem with my hair is the fact that it went entirely gray by the time I hit forty. ( You thought those nice highlights in the photo were natural?) I've heard that a small number of people get recoloring of gray hair on PABA supplements, but it never worked for me, my gray is genetic. But dandruff? Never have it. And my shampoo is what ever is cheap -- Suave, Tresemme, that sort of thing.

And my nose! I swear, some of my most vivid memories of childhood are of at least one nostril always being plugged up. Not having a cold, mind you -- just one nostril always being clogged. They'd trade off; I can remember wondering how they did that. Now I breathe freely the vast majority of the time, unless there is something specifically clogging me up -- a cold, weepy eyes from cutting onions, that sort of thing. And it's been something like a eighteen months since I had a cold!

Heading into the realm of Way Too Much Information -- gentlemen, you may want to go look at sports statistics or something -- I used to be plagued by, um... girly itching. You know what I'm talking about. Maddening. Embarrassing. Oh-God-no-not-again. How can I spend a day in public?! Gone. Doesn't happen anymore, unless I've taken a whole lot of antibiotics, and usually not then. Makes sense when you realize that yeasts feed on carbohydrates, doesn't it?

Ever have those little bumps at the tops of your arms? The little ones like a whole rash of teeny pimples, that inspire you to scrub and scrub and scrub the skin, hoping you can wear a tank top without embarrassment? Yeah, I had those, too. They, too, are long gone. Not saying that at almost fifty-two my upper arms are perfect looking; I wish! But at least I don't look like I've got a bad case of Acne of the Deltoids.

Oh, I'm not saying that all my health problems have miraculously vanished. I still have a sleep disorder; my doctor and I have pretty much concluded I was born with it, which could explain why I was staying up to watch Carson at the age of twelve. I take lovely thyroid pills every morning. I still get the occasional virus, though it's infrequent. It seems I get Seasonal Affective Disorder worse every year. And damn it, the athlete's foot I picked up at summer camp as a kid is still with me.

But the little stuff? The day-to-day stuff that sells billions of dollars of OTC drugs and cosmetics? The nagging little things that just annoy? A whole lot of them that I used to consider a normal part of life have long since become a non-issue. Who would have thought I'd get healthier as I got older?